A Reflection on the March Carnival of Aros
Written by the AUREA team Word count: 2500 words
Our inclusivity statement reads:
Our goal is to further the recognition of all kinds of aromantics and to contribute to building a community in which everyone is on equal footing.
For the March Carnival of Aros the topic was intersectionality and inclusivity. We made it known that we would be taking points from the submitted pieces. What follows below is an attempt on our part to be more transparent and open to dialogue. These are things we’ve been asked to, if not improve on, at least change.
A few preliminary notes:
this will not be an exhaustive response to every point mentioned in the Carnival, as not every piece of feedback was about AUREA specifically and we want to keep this article accessible for length,
consider this article an update on our thoughts and a way to involve you in our ongoing process of improving,
we are open to feedback at all times via email and comments,
our intention throughout this is to be sensitive, avoid being defensive or self-absorbed, and to be wholly in good faith.
Here is the list of submissions we have taken into account.
Transparency
Certain things should remain private within an organization and certain things can be shared with the public. Figuring out what falls where can be a difficult task as everyone will have a different opinion on each point. There was some debate on our team as to whether we should share this response or not, as we are still trialling some of our changes.
Through Char’s submission we were led to Cinnamon’s November Carnival of Aces response: Some Activism Should Not be Invisible. The piece is a discussion on their experience being Black in aspec communities and what activism currently looks like in those spaces. Here is a quote we find particularly relevant to us:
For the activists who do notice this lack [of people of colour in aspec spaces], I think the term "invisible activism" would be accurate in describing what they do to resolve it. Efforts to find more people of color to join their efforts are rarely or barely public. It's instead discussed behind the scenes, or in a space with other established activists, rather than where POC might hear it and feel 1) encouraged by the efforts being put forth by white activists and 2) encouraged to reach out and provide their insight and perspective.
This is the main reason why we’ve been asked to be more transparent. You need to know what we’re doing about inclusion. Cinnamon has written a list of actionable items that can be done to improve racial equity. Some of those items we do, some we can begin doing. An item we can immediately address is our all white team and why the team is made up of entirely white people. It is as Cinnamon suggests: our original team was recruited from a couple of Discord servers and Tumblr, in spaces where the majority of people are white. The criteria for the search were: 1) are they greatly involved in community discussion?, 2) how do they conduct themselves when things get heated?, and 3) do they know each other well enough to trust each other and work well together? That is a wide net and yet the results were limited.
Inclusion of People of Color
We’re nearing the two year birthday for AUREA now and our recruitment is less exclusive. We’re looking beyond one platform, beyond a few acquaintances who knew each other and wanted to start something. How often we search has increased and we’re aware of what we lack. In truth we’ve had more success from people reaching out to us than the other way around, but that isn’t going to deter us. These are the positions we’re looking to fill, and we update this list as we see needs arise.
Char’s submission piece - Starting a Local Group, Inclusion - details their concerns about their own efforts as a white person towards inclusion. They share some information about perspective. One point that stuck out to us is a trap white people fall into while attempting to be anti-racist:
"There are no/few POC in this space. We need to bring POC from Point B: where they are, to Point A: where we are."
However a more constructive approach would be: "What about this space led to there being no/few POC? Could we go to Point B? Could we create a Point C?" (Some punctuation added for accessibility)
AUREA needs to bring more people of color onto the team, but that is a slow process. We’re completely volunteer-run and not everyone has the time to spare for recruitment. A more immediate and less demanding act of inclusion involves the newsfeed. We’ve increased the amount of guest writers and interviews and lessened how many articles we write to ensure you’re hearing from more than just us. The structure of our newsfeed each month generally looks as follows:
1st Friday: What’s Going On (WGO) + an article we’ve written
3rd Friday: Guest writer(s)/contributor(s) + a collection of reader submissions
That means that, in an ideal month, one in four of the articles we publish is content we’ve created.
Having guest writers and volunteers allows us to build relationships and trust, and our most recent additions to the team have been volunteers-turned-team members. That said, we don’t want to keep voices of aros of color only in peripheral or guest positions. Furthermore, we recognize that moving up to a volunteer team member position is a major commitment that not everyone has the time for; many racially oppressed community members are disproportionately affected in this way.
Questions that AUREA is pondering are who do we reach and how do we make opportunities to work with us more accessible?
What do aro spaces look like?
Our census team is deep in the Aro Census results and with that we’ll know more specifically who our audience is. Until then we can only say for sure that we interact with and upload on four social media sites: Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit. These are, as far as we have found, the spaces with the largest groups of aromantics and also the most suited to sharing information.
These websites allow for and in some ways encourage anonymity. It is clear though that the most circulated voices at least are white ones. And as Mesotablar’s writes - To be or not to be...an international aro space - that she finds aro spaces U.S. centric. Overall AUREA does not challenge these demographics. We are an all white team and much of what we put in the WGO, the people we interview, our resources, the information for cite is based on or in the U.S.
To challenge this we search for contributors, representatives, interviewees, and groups that aren’t based in the U.S. We’re working on having the website translated and can see from our foot traffic that this is necessary. While we cater to the people we do reach, there are also those that we don’t. bedlaminthebigtop’s submission, Intersectionality, Pt. I, discusses the power of white supremacy and how that shapes activism, especially for white people.
We shouldn't even accept the premise that the aro community is western - that's confirmation bias of us engaging in English-speaking community spaces, and it's wrongfully universalising our community experiences, language, and conceptualisation of orientations. These things are not a universal paradigm. How can you know what other cultures have formed their own communities and language to describe similar experiences if you don't interact in their spaces? It would be foolish to assume that people in places that don't use English terminology to describe their experiences cannot also experience a lack of romantic attraction or desire. (Bolded text is used in place of the author’s italics).
We’re in a bit of a bind when it comes to outreach. It’s clear we need to make connections with non-white cultures, indivuduals, and groups - “attract us to join” as bedlaminthebigtop puts it. To do this thoroughly though we need more people on the team. We don’t have the people power to make new moves right now and we are in the process of having multiple people join the team. We’ve got a list of queer and a-spec groups to contact in the future to make connections with. Hopefully we’ll find some aromantics among them. We also want to partner with large LGBTQIA+ organisations to better promote ourselves and the aro identity. In the meantime we will continue to contact people of color for articles and team positions. We intend to self reflect and grow.
White supremacy
At the beginning of this year we reviewed the structure of our monthly team meetings and implemented a discussion on how to ensure we have and carry out an anti-oppressive framework. There is a lot of education and learning involved. Each meeting we review what we are doing successfully and what can we do more of/be better at, according to feedback we receive and what we personally learned or struggled with.
One of the documents we use is from Dismantling Racism: A Workbook for Social Change Groups by Kenneth Jones and Tema Okun. They detail characteristics of white supremacy culture. There are, of course, certain characteristics that we struggle with, for example: perfectionism, sense of urgency, quantity over quality. We work on lessening these expectations of ourselves and mitigating the ways we encourage that work ethic. Some things we are doing include integrating more positive and appreciative talk, having team socials, and re-evaluating our scope and boundaries for taking on new projects.
bedlaminthebigtop wrote Intersectionality, Pt. II with a focus on how amatonormativity intersects with white supremacy. The piece is a thoroughly researched outline of the history of U.S. discrimination through marriage, particularly of Asians. It is cruel and it is our reality.
White supremacy is something that people will be dismantling for a long time, it is still in so much control. AUREA recognises the overlap in oppression, how we are susceptible to it, and we are committed to affecting change. bedlaminthebigtop says it simply:
Intersectionality is essential in the aromantic community. This should not even be a question. Amatonormativity inherently intersects with white supremacy; it inherently intersects with colonialism; it inherently intersects with cisheteronormativity; it is a building block of the patriarchy and of sex negativity. All of these struggles are tied up together, and so is our liberation. If we don't stand together, we fail as a movement. Intersectionality isn't just about inclusion.
The Aromantic Agenda
Facilitating discussion is important to us. We want aros to share their experiences and thoughts because we know they’re unique and valuable. The Carnival of Aros is brilliant and we’re thankful for it. If we aren’t careful we could fall deeply into the white supremacist belief of progress means going bigger, doing more, but the little things we can change and challenge are just as important as the big ones.
We’re nearing the two thousand word mark on this article and there’s still six more thought provoking submissions. We encourage you to read their pieces, like we did. Here are a few of the things that highlight the need for intersection and inclusion in our community. We want to end with your voices, not ours, to pass the baton and open ourselves up to the vulnerability public discussion brings.
Erederyn - What is my aro latinidad
There is this feeling that aromantic community is largely White (at least the part of it that has garnered most attention), so the development of my aromantic identity has been shaped by this Whiteness. And it’s been a process for me to discover what a Latine version of my aromanticism would be. I don’t know yet what that is, to be honest. Latine culture can be diverse, and my version of latinidad is also complicated by the fact that I am a lifelong immigrant. Too American for Latin America, too Latine for America (funnily enough, my Latine identity is basically non-existent in Europe, I’m often just seen as American). Still, I would like to see more stories from Latine aros. I want to hear about what aromanticism means to Latines and how other Latines navigate coming out in their families. It seems that maybe there aren’t many Latine aros out there, but having more representation, while just a first step, would be so meaningful.
Jason W. “Derelict.Spectre” - My Personal Experiences in the Aro Community
As a Black person, it’s imperative that I know that this will always be the first thing that people see about me, both because it’s quite obvious, but also because I must for my own survival.
“Being Black and LGBTQ+ is navigating through anti-Black LGBTQ+ spaces and anti LGBTQ+ Black spaces.”
aroaceingit - Intersectionality and Inclusivity
While I would not mind having a partner in the future (a queerplatonic relationship), I am not going to actively seek it out. And I would be perfectly fulfilled if I never found a partner. My main fear is living alone. I do not know if I will be able to care for myself and function on my own without the help of someone else. Maybe I will be able to find roommates, but I don’t know if I would feel comfortable asking them to help me in the way that I need help sometimes.
Temple Dragon - Disability Inclusion To Continue After The Pandemic
The response to the global COVID pandemic has demonstrated that disability inclusion in possible and can be implemented in a matter of weeks. Previously, when disabled individuals asked for inclusion, including remote access to education, work, resources and entertainment, we were told it wasn’t possible. Yet, as soon as it benefitted ableds, society became accessible from home, and without the ableist stigma of being burdens or having “special needs”.
Isaac - Intersectionality of Aros
What I expect from a community about its intersections is to follow the Latin proverb “primum non nocere,” first not to harm. Foreigners may be unaware of the political battle now happening in Spain, with a part of feminism boycotting the new trans bill so that it never becomes law, attacking also their intersection of trans women and even neglecting non-binary people. I would hope alliship, but before that scene, I only expect a collective not to harm those who are a minority inside it. By this simple rule, society would be a better place.
Violet - We Must Fight in Unison
Along with anticapitalism, one of my other core beliefs is solidarity. So many people in the queer community are so intent on driving wedges between in our to determine who is The Enemy™ who is using x identity to do bad thing xyz. I’ve said it on this blog before but all of this gatekeeping only benefits the very people we’re trying to fight against. If we divvy ourselves up like this we have no chance of achieving true equality and liberation. We only stand a chance if we unite.